Monday, December 5, 2011

Let's Be Honest... Why do we Sabotage ourselves?

I know we all try to keep it cheery and sunshiney rainbows around the fitness/running blog world, but today's post won't be that. And it's gonna be long. There, I warned you.

So today (actually last night) started with this:
When we got back last night (we had about 15 minutes to change and get to the church Christmas show) and walked into a floor full of water in our kitchen. Coming from the ceiling. Awesome.

Long story short, I had to sit around the house all day, waiting on the plumbers and making sure the whole ceiling didn't fall in (not that I could've done anything about it). Here's the finished product:

I'm just going to hang some ornaments from it since it has to stay open to dry out. Or maybe hang some tinsel. It'll be fine. I'm not telling you guys this dumb story to complain (I much prefer situations like this... It can all be fixed) it's to set up the story about the rest of the day.

I was stuck at the house until 430pm. Not sure why this threw me so completely off. I guess I've really gotten used to working out in the morning. I hadn't eaten since breakfast so I had obviously let my hunger get away from me (stupid mistake #1).

I was getting all worked up because my brother made me a workout plan and went over diet stuff with me this weekend. I knew I needed to shop for groceries, blah, blah, blah.

So what did I do? What any rational completely idiotic person would do. Ordered chinese and skipped the gym. WTF Courtney?!? (obviously this is stupid mistake 2)

So let's break this down:
  • Anytime I 'start a diet' I feel like I have to eat everything bad because I'll never get to eat it again.
    • Yes, there are things I probably shouldn't ever eat again, but that's never going to happen. I need to learn that. So just because I'm starting a diet, or trying to eat better, or a certain way, doesn't mean that I have to stuff my face with every horrible thing that I think I'll never eat again.  
  • If I'm eating something as horrible as chinese or donuts or cake or whatever it is this time... I feel like there is no point in working out because I've messed up the whole day.
    • Not smart.
  • If I get a plan in my head (I was going to spin in the AM then start my strength training this PM) I competely fall apart if something gets in the way.
    • I need to learn to have a plan B. Yes it's good to have a plan and make an effort to follow thru. But just because it doesn't happen it doesn't mean you have to completely scrap it.
It's so easy to look back on this and see the things I did wrong. But somehow, in the moment, I still managed to make all the wrong decisions.

I did do one thing right today, though. Because I'm tired of this dumb routine. So I decided to do something about it. At 830pm (see it's not too late!):

I was sweating soy sauce, but the point was that I was sweating instead of sitting on the couch.

Do you/did you have a habit of sabotage?

What did you do to change it?


  1. I have no desire to talk about the horrible way I eat on days I don't exercise. It's all or nothing for me. I have miserable for the lady two days bc I've been eating like I'll never get to eat again since I plan to start a "diet" or just normal person eating tomorrow... But really that's a joke.. I know wry well il still eat like crap!!! All that to say, you are not alone! And it doesn't sound like u did that bad to me!!!! Don't be too hard on yourself!

  2. So many typos in that first comment *been miserable last two...

  3. Bummer on the water in the kitchen situation! Yuck!

    Great job getting in a workout. It is okay to fail sometimes as long as you recognize it and don't stay in the bad patterns! I had to quit buying potato chips because I would end up eating the whole bag. Ugh I would hate myself so bad when I was done, but it was like I could not stop!

  4. I know I'm the same way as well. But good for going to the gym at 8:30!

    I'm trying to get past the feeling guilty for eating something that's not weight loss friendly. But also working on not making food a reward either. Hard to balance the two.

  5. I was planning to join WW in January but on a whim I joined yesterday instead. If I waited until January I know that I would be stuffing my face for the next month thinking about it & gain 5 more pounds in the meantime!

    Bummer about the hole in the ceiling. We have a similar hole in our office. We had a leak a few years ago but haven't gotten around to fixing the hole. We fixed the leak but not the hole. I don't even see it anymore. Pretty sad I know!

  6. omg! i can totally relate to this. i often feel successful because i create a routine that i can stick to...when i get out of it i just feel off and like i cant get back on track. the day that ended up terribly last week all started with a missed workout in the am...i mean due to a bunch of other circumstances like my dumb parking ticket, etc. but it seriously through me off for the rest of the day and i was struggling to get back on track. but i went to the gym anyway that night and it definitely made a difference even if my workout was not the best. thanks for sharing your story! you are always so honest and i always feel like i can relate to you.

  7. Oh man chinese food is totally my weakness! I think we are so much alike, because I would do the exact same thing lol
    But the difference is that I probably wouldn't have made it to the gym lol
    Good for you, sucks about your ceiling though, hope it gets fixed soon.

  8. I have definitely done this to myself especially when I've been having a bad day. I know that I would feel better to work out but I eat junk food and watch tv instead!

  9. I do the same thing and totally relate to this!! I think in the end it will happen and we have to not beat ourselves to much about it!