After I finished work on Friday, Brad and I packed up to go to Kentucky. One of his cousins was getting married so it was kind of a like a mini family reunion for his side of the family. It was a really nice wedding and great to see everyone.
I've been in a crap mood since Friday. I'm not sure what's up with that. I think a huge part of it (no pun intended) is my current weight situation. I've been trying to figure out how to attack it, and as I mentioned here I plan on resuming weekly weigh ins.
But even during last week I found myself making poor food decisions. I wasn't committed yet.
I have this horrible mentality when it comes to dieting... All or nothing. I know how problematic this mentality can be. Trust me. But I've never had successful weight loss without hitting rock bottom (or an all time high on the scale), then making a conscious decision to make hard core changes.
I (like most everyone else) like to see results quickly and those results are what motivate me to continue. But then I look back over the past 10 years of my life (dang, really 10 years?!?) and I see how I've yo-yo dieted throughout. Honestly, it pisses me off. A lot.
I'm sick of being self conscious.
I'm sick of not being able to wear the clothes I want to wear and be confident in them.
I'm tired of being embarrassed to walk into a running store (seriously I am).
I hesitate to say these things, because once I hit publish it's out there for good. I'm afraid to fail. But I cannot keep doing this to myself over and over. I feel like I've missed out on so much because I've been too worried about my weight.
I hope that I can work on this over the next few months as racing winds down. Then hopefully come spring my running will reap the rewards of me being at least 20-25 pounds lighter. I hope that I can conquer this nagging problem that I have let beat me so many times.
And trust me I know that it doesn't stop once you get to where you want. I've lost the weight twice and gained it back. (Once right before pharmacy school started and again before the wedding, although I didn't get back as low as I'd have liked for the wedding). So here I am again, hoping that the third time really is a charm.
Sorry for the rambling, woe is me post. I try not to be Debbie Downer, especially about situations that I've brought upon myself. I just felt like I needed to get it off my chest. So no more excuses, it's on like Donkey Kong :)
What's your best healthy eating tip?